| Possiamo Darci del Tu? |
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Part 1: Tu, Voi, Lei, or Loro?
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"This does not reflect current realities. Nowadays, the polite plural of "Lei" is "voi." "Lei" is no longer capitalized."
BRERUS
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There are four ways of saying you in Italian: tu, voi, Lei, and Loro. Tu (for one person) and voi (for two or more people) are the familiar forms, used only with family members, children, and close friends.
Tu, mamma.
Voi, ragazzi (children)
Lei (for one person, male or female) and its plural Loro are used in more formal situations to address strangers, acquaintances, older people, or people in authority. Lei and Loro are written with a capital L to distinguish them from lei (she) and loro (they).
Lei, professore, e anche Lei, signorina.
You, professor, and also you, miss.
Non Loro, signore e signori.
Not you, ladies and gentlemen.
NOTE:
- The capitalization of Lei, when used as a courtesy address, is becoming less and less common, even in formal correspondence.
- In contemporary Italian speech it is extremely rare to make adjectives, past participles, etc., agree in gender with Lei if the subject is masculine: Lei è cattivo [not cattiva], generale. But the object pronouns are the same as they would be with a feminine subject—ArriverderLa, dottore!; Devo darLe una notizia importante—and therefore generally impose agreement when they precede the participle: Colonello, l'ho sempre amata.
Possiamo Darci Del Tu?
An Italian will often propose: «Possiamo darci del tu?» which figuratively means "May we switch to the tu form?" after a relationship progresses. Such a request is hardly ever refused; the difficulty is to keep track of whom one has passed onto tu terms with.
There are, of course, cases in which you can dare del tu immediately. Children are always addressed as tu, and young people would almost invariably use the tu form with each other right from the start: a university student who employs Lei with a fellow student would be considered a real stuffed shirt. Colleagues in certain professions, e.g. journalist, are expected to address each other as tu,as as compagni (i.e., fellow travelers, though as the former Communists of the Partito (democratico della sinistra) move further to the right this is becoming less of an automatic reflex).
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